For almost six weeks (I think that is my record), we have gone with no complaints until Wednesday of this week. Her daughter's shirt was intentionally torn by a fellow student who "pushed" her off of the statue they were climbing on at the park while on a field trip. She had witnesses. The investigation began. My investigation concluded that the "witnesses" did not see the incident and that by the description given by the plaintiff (yes, I feel like a judge and jury) it was merely an accident. However, mom was insisting that the accused pay for the shirt. The mother was not satisfied and I had not responded after the investigation. She has now complained to the curriculum director (yes, curriculum director).
I tell this tale because of the impact it had on my reflection of my attitude and actions. Through the course of actions taken by the curriculum director, I had to determine where I would stand on the matter and how I would speak with her about her actions in the matter.
I have just finished reading Leading with Soul and found that it did have an impact on what my reaction would be. I was dealing with two "cultures" -- the parent's and mine. To this parent, accidents do not happen, everything is intentional if the action effected them. To me, accidents can happen, and while me way want to have someone to blame, they just happen.
I did attempt to call the parent twice before leaving school Friday evening but to no avail. So, how will my soul seek to close this difference between me and the parent? I have reflected on what is important, what is right, and what, most importantly, will connect that bridge between or "cultural" differences.
As we are learning, "cru-zing to lead" involves a constant reflection of the soul.
4 comments:
I would agree that acidents do happen and chilren do childish things. I hope the weekend gave the mom sometime to think things over (we can hope).
I had a situation week that caused me to stop and think(Leading with Soul)and reflect on my reaction to another adult...not my usual mo. I was a bit more conscious of my reponse.
Traci, reading your post quickly brought back memories of being a campus administrator. It is tough, but so important that we view situations through our own lens, but also through the lens of the other party. You are doing this like a champ :) which will inevitably improve your communication with these parents when you respond with your findings. Let me know what happens!
This incident reminds me of the daily mix we face in life when philosophies (if not cultures) clash and. in our leadership positions, we are called on to make Solomon-like, wise decisions. To say "I feel your pain" seems frivolous. However, I have been there, and I am sincere in praying for your wisdom.
You have gone SIX WHOLE WEEKS without a parent complaint! Wow!! :) I understand your frustration and I am sad to say that I know all to well the kind of parent you are speaking about. I am sure you can understand when I say that private school parents are like the one in your blog and maybe even more as they are "paying for my child to go here."
I have no quick answer for your problem, but it sounds like you are doing the right thing by trying to call right away. What I have seen is that sometimes that "culture gap" you spoke about is something that parents do NOT WANT to bridge. Some just like to complain and gossip AND repeat! All you can do is your best and at the end of the day be humble. (I say this and know that I have failed many times.)
Since becoming an administrator only in the last 5 years, I have noticed quickly that dealing with parents is one of the biggest jobs I have. When you can help it's so rewarding and when you're getting yelled at it's the pits! Best remedy I have found (no not a margarita!) talk it out with friends and collegues. :)
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